Keep Chewin’ It

There was a television ad today for a new show called Ink Master, starring Dave Navarro. This raises a series of questions, such as - how many tattoo-themed programs can the American television audience consume? I know there are at least two other reality shows based on tattoos and tattoo parlors. While I don’t plan on watching any of them, apparently there is enough demand for television executives to continue developing and green lighting tattoo programming.

After some further reflection, I gratefully realized that I no longer in any way think of Jane’s Addiction when I see Dave Navarro. This is fortunate, because that band was one of my favorites in the 90s and I still really enjoy the three albums they released in their prime: XXX, Nothing’s Shocking, and Ritual de la Habitual. If I’d been subjected to the wasteland of diarrheality television back in 1992 and known Mr. Navarro as the star of Carmen and Dave: Til Death Do We Part, Rock Star: Supernova, and Ink Master, it certainly would have colored my impression of his artistic contributions to the music.

That sounds really music-snobby of me, but I can’t help it. I expect (and even embrace) this type of persona from the frontman of Poison, but not from the guitarist of Jane’s. I’m glad he is successful and gainfully employed, but also glad that I can compartmentalize the reality tv star from the music.

Perry Farrell is still cool, though. We just need to keep him away from the Kardashians.

It’s been a long time since I posted anything. But I am compelled to point out that at this moment in time, DeAngelo Hall is a co-captain of the Skins and Andray Blatche is the (possibly self-appointed) captain of the Bullets.

I’m confident that the Skins are heading in the right direction and I like some of the young players on the Bullets. But those team leadership situations can really take the air out of your proverbial balloon.

I’ve never been enthralled with a seasonal product, but this year I became very attached to the Sierra Nevada Tumbler. Now I am faced with the cold reality of walking into the beer section and finding nothing but Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale. Not bad, but nothing really to write home about.

I don’t know why I became so attached to the Tumbler. It is delicious, which is probably the main reason. It also had a fantastically autumnal label, and you know I’m a sucker for pageantry. But I’ve never really gotten attached to any kind of seasonal microbrews or any kind of seasonal product before.

Is this what people feel when they see the last case of Sam Adams Oktoberfest sitting in the beer cooler and realize that they’re now faced with Winter Lager? I’ve never cared.

But I am a little sad to see my stash of Tumblers quickly dwindling in the laundry room fridge (a.k.a. daddy’s fridge). I am quite content with normal Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, but I’ve really taken a shine to the Tumbler. If you happen to see any in your neighborhood store, please snatch it up. I’ll take it off your hands, with interest.

Just another reason to look forward to next fall, I suppose. I’m already daydreaming about it.  Fall 2011: leaves starting to brown, crisp Tumbler in hand, and sitting down to watch as Rex Grossman leads the Redskins through another 5-11 campaign!

Happy trails, Tumbler.  See you next year.

I’ve made several jokes over the past few football seasons about how superior my JMU Football season ticket experience is to my Washington Redskins season ticket experience. From the actual season ticket package you receive in the mail, to the on-field product, to the actual gameday experience, it hasn’t even been close. In a strange turn of events, and completely out of character for the Snyder regime, the Skins have been making a concerted effort this season to actually provide some decent touches for the fans.

I’m guessing we have Bruce Allen to thank, but the Skins have made several attempts to throw the fans a bone this season.  The new HD videoboards are the biggest and most obvious improvement, and they make the gameday experience at FedUp Field much more tolerable.  They’ve even shown some out-of-town highlights, and not just hi-def ads for Popeyes! Other strangely positive gestures included the parking lot jumbotrons showing NFL RedZone during tailgating for the home opener against Dallas. Very un-Snyderlike, especially considering there was no immediate profit to be milked from the fans on that one. But the strangest development of all is the random Larry Michael voicemail.

This has only happened one week so far (the Green Bay week), so it is very inconsistent, but I actually got a pre-recorded gameday voicemail from Larry Michael.  The message thanked me for buying tickets and planning to come to the game.  It also encouraged me to arrive early and offered a hotline/Twitter feed for real-time traffic updates.  It was almost unbelievable.  I could write a 100,000 word essay on the horrible way they’ve handled traffic and parking for the past decade.

Unfortunately, this attempt at helping the fans was ultimately overshadowed by the wretched, puke-in-your-mouth realization that you have received a voicemail from Larry Michael.  This is the guy who used his clout as a radio exec to unceremoniously run the legendary Frank Herzog out of the broadcast booth and insert himself as the new play-by-play man.  Seriously.  He is now the de facto mouthpiece for Snyder and resident Notre Dame expert, now that Vinny is on the outs.

I’ve saved a copy of the voicemail and may post it at some point.  It does end with some of the awkwardly cheesy pep rally type banter.  Hail to the Redskins!  Beat Green Bay!  Hip, hip, hooray!

Points for the effort and the message, but minus 100 points for the messenger.  This could only have been less revolting if it was delivered by Snyder himself.  Seriously, I’d rather get a voicemail from Karl Swanson, David Donovan, or one of Snyder’s other hatchet men.  Stay out of my phone, Larry Michael!

This was one of the best football weekends for me in recent memory. All three of the teams that I root for scored big wins, and each one was satisfying in its own way. A few quick thoughts on each…

JMU Dukes 21, Va Tech Hokies 16

Being both a JMU alum and a proud season ticket holder, this was an amazing feat. We really should have beat Maryland last year, so it’s not like it was totally out of the realm of possibility, but I think every unbiased football fan would agree that Va Tech is on a different level than Maryland. Anyways, I have a lot of friends who went to Tech and I generally wish their football team well. So I am going out of my way to not get too chesty about this…I often think about the 2004 World Series, which instantaneously transformed the Red Sox fanbase from almost endearing to insufferable and obnoxious. So that is a pretty good cautionary tale to consider. But this is a major milestone for the JMU football program, so it certainly deserves some hearty celebration. It’s been great being a season ticket holder, even though I don’t make it to every game every year. But they’ve built an amazing program and we need more DC area alumni support to keep growing. So hopefully this is a touchstone game that will bring in some more support. I will leave the hardcore game details to my friends over at JMUSportsblog.com . But if you are a JMU alum who still lives within a few hours of campus and likes football, I hope this will encourage you to jump on the bandwagon. Plenty of room, with more on the way.

Oklahoma 47, Florida St 17

Being the son of two Oklahoma alums and having family still in Oklahoma to this day, I grew up watching Sooners football and have continued following them and supporting them to this day. Thank you, Jamelle Holieway! I was a little nervous about this game due to the furious aerial comeback mounted by Utah St in week one. Christian Ponder and the Seminoles strolled into Norman with a lot of Heisman hype, a top 20 ranking, and coming off a pretty impressive outing. Oops. The Sooners stuck it to them and never let up. Bob Stoops was asked recently about how current QB Landry Jones stacks up to his predecessor, the scintillating and classy Sam Bradford. Coach Stoops responded by saying something along the lines of “Sam was the #1 pick in the NFL draft and won the Heisman trophy, so it’s unfair to compare Landry to him just yet. But Landry can grow a better mustache.” Well, this week he sure looked like Sam Bradford Jr. Still can’t tell whether this means Oklahoma is this good or Florida St is this bad. We’ll find out in due time. Up next is another interesting test against an unconventional and dangerous Air Force team.

Redskins 13, Cowboys 7

I am also a long-time Skins season ticket holder. And I have been a long-suffering season ticketholder under the evil Snyder regime, shamefully stroking a check to the Petit Kommisar every offseason and questioning whether I am hurting or helping the team by continuing to fill his tainted coffers.  This game was a pleasant surprise on many fronts…a win over Dallas, a bunch of deflated PG-County-born-and-bred Cowboys fans, and an actually improved stadium experience. Certainly not a barn burner, but we got to see a solid defensive effort (featuring the return of Laron Landry). We also got to see a prepared team that limited mistakes and capitalized on their opponents’ mistakes. And hit long field goals. And didn’t make glaring managerial errors. I’ve got to say, between the on-field demeanor, the sensible approach to free agency, the new stadium video screens, and the NFL Red Zone jumbotrons in the parking lots, they are almost starting to resemble a professional operation. Still not buying the Dan-Snyder-is-now-Ted-Leonsis PR blitz, but if the team is competitive, his nefarious tendencies become more of an afterthought.

So it was a pretty sweet early September weekend for the Andricos household. I should probably point out that my main fantasy team bit the dust with a wretched effort, and my high school alma mater (Backin’ the Rams!) got upset. Otherwise, I would have run out and bought some lottery tickets. But all in all, a pretty solid football weekend.

Hope springs eternal.

Did you know that there are only 9 ingredients in a can of Coke Zero? I know what you’re probably thinking. First, you are probably thinking “wow, I didn’t know that.”  Second, you are probably thinking how lame it is that I am holding a can of Coke Zero.

It is kind of lame, I admit. But in my current state of rapid aging and domestication, I can longer be concerned about drinking questionable products. And it’s still cooler than Diet Coke, I guess. But I digress! The fact of the matter is that two of the 9 ingredients in Coke Zero are absolute revelations!

Here is the actual ingredient list, exactly as it appears on the can:

Carbonated Water, Caramel Color, Phosphoric Acid, Aspartame, Potassium Benzoate (to protect taste), Natural Flavors, Potassium Citrate, Acesulfame Potassium, Caffeine.

The concept of an ingredient named “Natural Flavors” is pretty amazing (a single ingredient that is pluralized, no less). But I’ve actually seen “Natural Flavors” as an ingredient in other products. The real big winner in this list of ingredients is Potassium Benzoate. It comes with a mission statement/explanation!

There’s really not more I can say about this. I just felt like it was really blog-worthy. I often enjoy reading the ridiculously superlative and often nonsensical labels on microbrews and wine. But I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed reading the ingredients of a can of soda.

Thank you Potassium Benzoate. Keep up the good work.

I am a huge Redskins fan, and I also feel really strongly about the importance of a strong work ethic. So, this opinion may be a little surprising to some of you. I am actually really enjoying seeing Albert Haynesworth royally screw over Danny Snyder.

It’s easy to bash Haynesworth, and he deserves all of the contempt and vitriol from Skins fans. It’s impossible to relate to a guy who apparently has no personal or professional integrity. And it is clearly in my best interests as a Skins fan for the team to recoup some value for his roster spot.

But this is a salary cap free season. There is really no team impact from the monies they have paid out to him. It is a financial hit to Danny Snyder, and not really to the salary cap or the fanbase. Obviously, as a fan, I would rather have a productive player in that roster spot than a fat turd who has no interest in playing football. But at least we didn’t give up draft picks to get him.

I would also point out that there are many other players who have taken Danny’s money and returned ineffective and seemingly disinterested results on the field. Deion Sanders comes prominently to mind, but there is a laundry list of others. But no one has done it in such an unabashed and aggressive manner. I mean, at this point Haynesworth is collecting $32 mil for playing 12 games. He cashed a $21 mil bonus check with zero intentions of reporting back to work.

So, as much as I loathe this bum, he still is a much lesser evil than Danny Snyder. I know Haynesworth is a selfish bum with a bloated sense of self-entitlement. And he is clearly not motivated by any higher philosophical purposes in his refusal to fulfill his outlandish contract. But in my personal little worldview, I’m going full crusade on this one.

This is for the obstructed view seating, this is for the pedestrian traffic bans in Raljon, this is for the decade of atrocious personnel management decisions, this is for the slimy business practices, this is for the grandmothers who were sued for season ticket contracts, this is for the nebulous tailgating policy changes and ever-shifting traffic patterns, this is for the price-gouging of the fans, this is for all of the tickets sold by the team to brokers, this is for all of the petty and bastardly interpersonal interactions.

The lil’ tyrant is taking this one on the chin. All long-tortured Skins fans should take a few moments to enjoy watching Danny get publicly railroaded by someone. The impact is really minimal to Skins fans, and he deserves a lot worse than this.

So illegally bulldoze a few more dozen trees from the Chesapeake & Ohio Canal National Historic Park, sit back, and enjoy the view from your Potomac compound.

Last night was a fantastic way to kick off the summer concert season in some incredible weather. We headed up to Merriweather to catch My Morning Jacket. As previously blogged, they had the Preservation Hall Jazz Band opening for them. Both bands delivered the goods and it really was a wonderful time all around.

We had a great crew and, with the warm sunny weather, the tailgating extended a little bit into the Preservation Hall set. But we did manage to get in there for their last 4 or 5 songs, a few of which featured Jim James on vocals. Delivered through a megaphone, no less, which added an old-timey carnival feel. I wish we had caught their entire set, but like I said - we had a good team, good weather, and strong drink…so no real complaints there!

I was curious whether MMJ would acknowledge the Kentucky Derby, since they hail from Louisville. Sure enough, they had a lone trumpeter come onstage and kick off their set with the Kentucky Derby bugle call. Pretty fun way to start things off. The band walked onstage and went immediately into “One Big Holiday.” Zero to 100 mph…a robust set opener for sure!

They really came in hot at the starting of the show, blasting through several of the big guns from their repertoire: “One Big Holiday,” “Gideon,” “Off the Record,” “I’m Amazed,” and “Mahgeetah.” At this point, I was openly making assertions about MMJ being the current great American rock band. I mean, they really bring it in the live show department, and they’re getting to the point where they have a deep song catalog to pick from.

The band sounded great. The sound mix was well-balanced and very clean. Every instrument was coming through and I never once felt like I wished I could hear the bass more or the keyboard more or anything like that. And yes, that is stuff I often think about at shows. But the sound engineer was on point and everything was clean and clear. MMJ has a lot of different facets to their sound, and while they generally “rock out” in the live setting, they are not always just guitar-driven. There is the spacey-ness and the electronic textures and always James’ ethereal vox floating above it all. But when it’s time to rock out, James still straps on the Flying-V and gets after it.

The encore fulfilled my hopes of getting the Preservation Hall Jazz Band to lay down some horn arrangements with the MMJ boys. A massive “Dancefloors” was the centerpiece of the encore, and was really great. This is one of my favorite MMJ tunes, and it is going to be hard now to see it live without the horns. It was big, brassy, and boisterous. And I would have been perfectly fine with that being the last number. But they had one more trick up their sleeves and kept the horns onstage for a romp through “Move on Up” by Curtis Mayfield. Very nice.

Pretty safe to say that everyone was leaving with smiles on their faces as the crowd streamed back outside into the summery night. Good times. If you get a chance to catch this tour, it’s certainly worth catching.

We are taking a small break from the world of changing diapers and heading to Merriweather tomorrow night to see My Morning Jacket. I’m unbelievably psyched for this show and think it’s going to be a great way to kick off the spring. I will try to file some kind of report on the show later this weekend.

One of the most intriguing aspects to me is that they have the legendary Preservation Hall Jazz Band opening for them. This is a rotating lineup of New Orleans jazz musicians who’ve been playing nightly at Preservation Hall in NOLA for decades. They started touring after Katrina and have continued to tour even after Preservation Hall re-opened.

I’m really excited to see their set. And I’m hoping this means that MMJ will have some horn arrangements worked out for their set. Not a bad excuse to get Nana and Pop Pop on babysitting duty and head up to MD for the evening.

Fred Smoot, the locquacious cornerback of the 2000’s-era Washington Redskins, was one of the only consistently entertaining facets of that organization. Sure, he had his problems during his brief stint in Minnesota, but he still held a warm spot in my heart. He was one of the victims of the deep roster cut that Bruce Allen and Mike Shanahan executed on the eve of free agency this year. And while it was the right move from a football standpoint, I am ever reminded why I like Smoot so.

Agent Steinz revealed in the DC Sports Bog yesterday that Smoot plans on giving back to the city of DC by opening a Waffle House. I am a bit beyond the years of being out in the city at odd hours of the night, but this is a total throwback to many an early a.m. visit to the beloved Harrisonburg Waffle House back in my JMU days. I am a huge fan of this move, although I kind of question the uber-trendy location.

So while I probably won’t be visiting this fine establishment in person, I take heart knowing that lots of U Street revelers can now take early morning solace in a Ben’s half smoke or a Waffle House double hash browns all the way. Now if he could just import Ravenna or some of the other classic 90’s Harrisonburg Waffle House staff, he’ll really be cooking.

Godspeed, Mr. Smoot. You will be sorely missed.